katharina suckale

continuation of article below

… So how could we explain that some women become very strong? Nothing is given to us and we have to work early as little girls in the households. Our brothers are always better, so we have to study very hard just to get close to their level. Also in business we have to work harder to achieve the same success as men and clever girls learn early that beauty disappears one day. Al Pacino and Robert de Niro can play lovers at the age of 60, while for women it is finished at the age of 30, albeit with exceptions to the rule. Girls/women learn early that beauty is still very important, but it vanishes. Men don’t have these problems. They can even become fathers at the age of 70!

Over the last decades women have grown more mature, while men have relaxed, haven’t noticed what “the competition” was doing. So what are these men doing nowadays? They grumble about women, that they are too demanding and they are absolutely right. Women have gotten too demanding! They want a man, who has a big career, earning lots of money, which means working none stop 7 days a week. But he has to be good looking, too, like in these films, which means 15 hours at the fitness-club, beauty parlor and shopping mall, spending his free time on styling. But that’s not enough. Moreover he has to be sexy and very erotic in bed, so he has to learn all the necessary techniques to make love to a woman. But who can teach men to be extremely good in bed and who teaches women the same? The porno you can watch on TV from the age of 5? The internet? Video cabinets at a sex shop? Who can teach you that sex is not just mechanics and techniques but has something to do with your emotions. But what are emotions when you aren’t allowed to have any emotions growing up with a Prussian style education system, which is still influencing the German world up to 21st century. These emotions include anger, fear of the other sex, vulnerability, desire, laughter, tenderness, empathy… And which nation is known to express few emotions? Germans. So how can you like yourself, love to seduce and have good sex when you aren’t aware of your own emotions, or you aren’t permitted to live them, or it is not seemly to be seen living them?

Both sexes are responsible for the dryness in Germany and to a certain extent in Western Europe. Women have gotten too demanding and arrogant towards men. But they fail in their own way because they only want to see success, money and beauty! Where is the love toward the male species? Who teaches women to love men when our mothers and fathers teach us to hate or refuse men. This is a phenomenon of the 19th century through to the 21st century. But women are sacred, we are holy women, we would never hate men! NO! We are an educated human species, hate and despise don’t exist in our emotional scale. But pretty often it does exist unconsciously making it difficult to discover. But we don’t want to confront this - no – because we are saints. The same with men. How many men hate and despise women, but they would never confront this because they are sacred, too.

We could stop the power struggles as we have done with communists and capitalists who were fighting each other in former times. Couldn’t we try to look at each other as human beings with weaknesses and strengths? Couldn’t we look at each other with lust and desire without being scared, but alive with emotions, focused away from images? When a woman only looks at the beauty, career and perfection of a man and herself, she will miss a lot, just the same as a man, who looks only at the career, beauty and sex of a woman. Images are creating a bit of a problem because they don’t give an opportunity for human beings to grow with their pleasures and emotions.

One could think for men and women in German society, it is time to learn to love oneself and the other sex. We have gotten either too tight or too loose with ourselves and there is not a lot in between. But there could be. We have to learn to take responsibility for the other person, not throw them away when they don’t correspond to our demands and the image. The image misguides – it is the essence which counts. But we have to work on the essence and the soul of ourselves, and nobody wants to do this because we may see the ugly side.

So men could maintain their beauty and also work on themselves. Work on their knowledge, which also means getting their pride back in being a man. Confront their weakness and the world, but not just always with guns, like the Korean amok shooter in Blacksburg. Likewise, women should not just get focused on career, money, kids and perfection. They should not forget their human, feminine and sexy side, which also means their weakness towards men.

Probably there will always be a power struggle between men and women. But a dream could be that there is equality. Equal powers are much more attractive than when one is weaker than the other one. This also means you can be weak one day and strong the next. A man could accept that he is weak one day and strong the next. We are human beings and not Gods, Buddha’s, species from Mars or characters in a movie, who are heroes because of SFX, CGI, make-up, costumes and a crew of at least 100 people! A movie is a movie, an image is an image. We should search for the human being and the other side of our halves, which is a man or a woman.

Meredith Brooks once sang in “Blurring the edges”: “I may be an angel on your knees, innocent and sweet… I understand, why your are so confused, because I am a bitch, I am a lover, a child, a mother, a sinner, a saint, your help and your dream, I am nothing in between, so you may need to be a stronger man.” So where is reality for men and women nowadays? Somewhere in between, a place everybody has to search for and this makes life so beautiful.

Read also in Spiegel-online “Flirten wie in der Steinzeit”

http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/0,1518,503601,00.html